My Compass
by xAoneko
Summary: Because of Otoya, Tokiya publicly announces the end of HAYATO's career.


"Tokiya~!" Otoya clung to his roommate's arm and pouted childishly. "Please come with me!"

Tokiya sighed and tried to pull his arm away, but the redhead just held on tighter. "I told you, Otoya, I have work that day. Besides, what makes you think I would want to go to my brother's concert?" Bitterness seeped into his voice at the last bit.

Otoya frowned. "But he's your brother. Shouldn't you go to support him?"

"I refuse to support that frivolous idiot." Tokiya wrenched his arm away and coldly turned his back on his roommate.

"Tokiya, if this is about the expectations that you have to live up to because of HAYATO, I..." Tokiya's eyes narrowed angrily and he shot a freezing glare at Otoya.

"Don't act like you know me, Otoya," he stated with icy calmness, "I would appreciate it if you stopped prying into my business."

Hurt, Otoya watched as his roommate left their dorm. He didn't understand why Tokiya hated his brother so much. Even in the most intense sibling rivalries he had seen, neither sibling reacted as violently when their brother or sister was mentioned. Tokiya seemed to harbor a special hatred for HAYATO, and Otoya doubted that it was just because he had to live up the expectations set on him by his brother's career as an idol.

With nothing else to do, Otoya grabbed his phone off his bedside table and headed outside, where he picked a patch of shade next to a tree and sat down in it. He supposed that he shouldn't have pushed the topic of HAYATO onto Tokiya when the latter was so sensitive to it. After all, Otoya didn't especially like talking about his mother since all he could remember about her was her death. He hoped Tokiya wouldn't stay angry at him for too long.

...

"Alright, HAYATO, good work today." Tokiya received pats on the back as he headed towards his dressing room to change out of the stupidly frilly outfit that he had to wear when he was acting as HAYATO. He acknowledged the ones who gave him praise with a nod, knowing that they were actually praising HAYATO, not Tokiya himself.

The president of the company stepped in front of him with a look of grim approval in his eyes. "You did well today. It seems you've found the heart to sing again."

"Yes." Tokiya wanted to say more, but the words got stuck in his throat. _I'm leaving the company. I've found a place to debut as Ichinose Tokiya. A place to be myself._ He couldn't get those words out, and they remained unspoken as the president hummed and walked away.

Tokiya had wanted to stop pretending to be HAYATO for a long time now. He didn't want to see his fake persona receive the warmth of millions of fans, didn't want to see his fake persona be recognized for all the work _he_ did, didn't want his fake persona to be the one everyone saw when they looked at him. The more time he spent with Otoya, the more he realized that he hated HAYATO.

Whenever he was around the cheerful, red-haired idol, Tokiya would notice how genuine Otoya was. Ittoki Otoya wasn't living a double life like Tokiya was, and he was always smiling at everyone. He was honest and likeable, the complete opposite of the secretive and cold Tokiya.

Now that he was thinking about his roommate, Tokiya remembered how harshly he had spoken that afternoon when Otoya had asked him to attend HAYATO's concert together. Otoya's wounded expression sent a small twinge of guilt through the dark-haired man. He hadn't meant to snap at the redhead like that, but the younger idol really knew how to push him into a corner, even if it was unintentionally.

When Tokiya returned to the dorm room after his rehearsal, he was surprised that Otoya wasn't there. It was 2:30 in the morning, and the redhead would usually be snoring in bed. A quick scan around the room showed that Otoya had taken his phone with him, so Tokiya pulled out his cellphone and dialed his roommate. He was directed to voicemail when Otoya didn't pick up, and Tokiya stared at his phone with furrowed brows.

He was still trying to decide what to do when a meow startled him. Turning around, the young idol saw a black cat with green eyes rubbing itself against the edge of the door, purring and waving its tail calmly. Tokiya sighed and pushed the feline out of the room.

"I don't have time to entertain you right now." He placed his hand on the door and began to close it.

Quick as a flash, the cat slipped back into the room and latched itself onto Tokiya's leg, digging its claws into the fabric of his pants. The idol hissed quietly in pain and bent down to pry the cat away. Before he could touch it, the cat jumped off and padded towards the door. It looked back at Tokiya, eyes shining brightly, and mewled.

Tokiya took a step towards it, and the cat shifted closer to the door, letting out another high-pitched cry before it darted out into the hall. Tokiya followed it as it led him out of the building and towards the lake nearby. As they reached the trees surrounding the water, the cat disappeared into the shadows, leaving Tokiya standing alone.

A patch of red stood out among the darkness of the woods, and Tokiya approached Otoya, who was fast asleep against the birch tree. He sighed at his roommate's carelessness and reached out to shake the younger man's shoulder. "Otoya."

Otoya didn't respond, his breath coming out in white puffs in the cold night air. Tokiya shook him again and firmly said, "Otoya, wake up. You'll catch a cold."

Red eyes opened sleepily and Otoya raised a hand to rub at his face. "Huh, Tokiya? What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Tokiya retorted. He stood up and crossed his arms. Disapproval colored his light blue eyes as he watched Otoya stumble to his feet. "As an idol, you should be taking care of yourself, not sleeping outside where you can catch a cold."

"Sorry." Otoya grinned sheepishly as he ran a hand through red locks. He got up from his sleeping place and followed Tokiya back to the dorms.

As they entered the building, Otoya stopped. "I'm sorry for mentioning HAYATO earlier." Seeing that Tokiya had stopped walking as well, the redhead continued with his apology. "I know that you probably don't like having to live in your brother's shadow, but I really just..."

"It's fine," Tokiya cut off Otoya's apology. "I...apologize as well, for snapping at you. It's..." He stopped, unsure of what to say next.

Suddenly, he was being hugged by Otoya. The redhead collided with him so hard that Tokiya nearly lost his balance and tumbled to the floor. Immediately, he began to wrestle against Otoya's grasp.

"Otoya! Let go of me!"

"Tokiya~!"

The next morning, Tokiya was woken by the sound of sneezing. Rolling over on his bed, he saw that Otoya was sitting up with a tissue box on his lap. The redhead sneezed violently and blew his nose on a tissue, sounding absolutely miserable.

Tokiya sighed and got up. Otoya raised his eyes from the used tissues scattered around his bed and greeted Tokiya. "Good morning, Tokiya!"

The dark-haired male grunted in response, noting the nasal sound of Otoya's voice and the pain that the redhead was trying to hide with his cheerfulness. A faint flush was present on the younger's face, signaling a possible fever.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up!" Otoya's words carried into the tiny kitchen that was available in their dorm. "I did my best to keep quiet, but the sneezes just hurt more when I tried to stop them."

Tokiya filled a small kettle with water and placed it on the stove. As he waited for the water to boil, he opened one of the drawers and pulled out a small packet of black powder. Grabbing a mug from the counter, he poured the powder into the mug. He looked over at his roommate when the latter sneezed again.

"Sorry," Otoya said again, wiping at his nose with another tissue.

"Stop apologizing." Tokiya lifted the kettle from the stove and poured the boiled water into the mug. "I'm not angry."

Otoya sighed as Tokiya stirred the contents of the mug, making sure the powder was completely dissolved in the water before carrying over to Otoya's bed. The redhead accepted the drink, inquiring curiously as to what it was.

"It's a medicine that should help with your cold." Tokiya walked into the bathroom to groom himself as Otoya drank the medicine, making a face at the bitterness.

Tokiya paused in washing his face when he heard Otoya stand up. "What are you doing?" Blue eyes followed the redhead as he shuffled around the room, searching for a fresh set of clothes to wear.

Otoya plucked a shirt from his drawers. "I have to get ready to go to HAYATO's concert. It's starting in a couple hours, and I need to get a good seat." Suddenly, the shirt vanished from his hands, and he looked up to see Tokiya holding his shirt with a frown.

"You're ill. How can you expect to go to HAYATO's concert with a cold as bad as yours?" The taller male lifted Otoya's shirt above his head while his roommate stood on his toes, trying to retrieve the piece of clothing.

"But I want to go!" Otoya whined, pausing to sneeze again. "Tokiya!" He jumped in an attempt to grab his shirt only to have the dark-haired idol lean backwards.

Tokiya sighed in exasperation. "Do you absolutely have to hear HAYATO sing?" When Otoya nodded furiously, he sighed again and headed over to where his laptop lay on his desk. Turning it on, he typed something on the device before carrying it over to Otoya's bed.

"This is HAYATO's live channel, so you can watch the concert without having to go outside," Tokiya explained as he set his laptop down at the foot of Otoya's bed.

"Woah, really?" Otoya exclaimed, flopping down in front of the screen and curiously eyeing the currently-black screen. "Thanks, Tokiya!" He turned to look at his roommate, who was putting on a jacket over his white shirt. "Eh, where are you going?"

"I have work today, so I'll be back later." He was already late, so he left without another word, hurriedly closing the dorm door behind him.

"Bye, Tokiya!" Otoya called even though his roommate was already gone.

The redhead sat silently in bed, eyes fixed on the computer screen. It was almost time for HAYATO's concert to come on live, and the redhead was glad that Tokiya knew about the live channel or Otoya would have missed it.

Sure enough, the live channel soon flickered on, displaying HAYATO proudly standing on the stage as thousands of people cheered in the audience. With an exaggerated wave of his hand, the famous idol began to sing.

Otoya was entranced by HAYATO's music. It was different from the last concert, where HAYATO didn't seem to be enjoying the music that he sang. It was subtle, but Otoya could tell that the singer hadn't put his heart into the song. On the other hand, this song was full of emotions. It was as if HAYATO was pouring everything he carried in his heart into the music, overwhelming his audience and leaving them speechless.

The song was over too soon, but it played over and over in Otoya's mind. Meanwhile, HAYATO was talking to his fans and his voice carried clearly through the live channel.

"Did you like the song?" HAYATO beamed at the people in the audience, and was answered by a great cheer that rose up as people shouted their answer. "I'm glad you liked it!" Suddenly, HAYATO's smile faded a little and his eyes took on a more serious tone. "I hope it won't be too much trouble to ask you all to stay for a few more minutes. I have something that I would like everyone to know."

The audience quieted down and Otoya leaned forward curiously.

Standing in the middle of the stage with the spotlight glaring down on him, Tokiya took a deep breath. What he was about to announce would surely disappoint HAYATO's fans, but he had made up his mind to permanently remove the mask and debut as who he truly was.

"First," he began, completely abandoning HAYATO's cheerful nature, "I would like to thank everyone for supporting me this far in my career as HAYATO. I wouldn't have made it this far without all of you."

A smattering of applause sounded at his little speech and everything quieted down again as his fans waited for what he had to say next. Tokiya clenched his hands and relaxed them as he braced himself for the response.

"Today is the last day of HAYATO's career."

The stunned silence prompted Tokiya to continue. "Starting tomorrow, I will only live by who I really am, and that is Ichinose Tokiya."

...

Otoya sat frozen in front of Tokiya's computer. HAYATO...was Tokiya all along? But the dark-haired male himself had insisted that he was HAYATO's twin and seemed as though he wanted nothing to do with the upbeat and popular idol. Had he been lying all along? Why? Why did he have to keep this a secret from everyone?

He didn't know how long he sat there, but he jumped when the door to his dorm opened. Tokiya, still dressed in his concert clothes, stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. It seemed that the idol no longer cared what other people thought or said; his attention was solely focused on the redhead that sat before him.

"Why did you keep this a secret, Tokiya?" Otoya's voice came out calmer than they both expected, considering that Otoya emotions were in turmoil at the moment.

"When I first debuted..." Tokiya slowly began to explain everything. He told Otoya about how people kept telling him that he didn't have heart in his songs after he first debuted as HAYATO. Because of his lack of motivation in singing, the company that he debuted under began to push him to do other things like acting, which bruised his pride immensely.

Then, Shining found him. The eccentric principal of Saotome Academy and the president of Shining Agency offered to have him enroll in Saotome and debut under Shining Agency as long as he regained his heart for singing, which Tokiya accepted. However, that heart was not coming back no matter how hard Tokiya tried. Until Otoya barged his way into Tokiya's life.

"Eh? Me?" Otoya blinked in surprise. The man that he admired had been inspired by him?

"Yes," Tokiya confirmed, "It was your genuine personality that helped me find my heart for singing and gave me the courage to renounce my alias as HAYATO in front of all those people today." He held a fist close to his heart. "I know I won't regret giving up HAYATO because I've realized that not staying true to myself is the reason I lost motivation in the first place."

Otoya said nothing, just continued staring thoughtfully at Tokiya.

"I sincerely apologize for hiding the fact that I'm HAYATO from you, from everyone." For the first time since he met Otoya, Tokiya bowed his head to the redhead. "I'm very sorry."

"I understand."

Tokiya's head jerked up in surprise at how swift and decided the response was. "Huh?"

Otoya wrapped his arms around his roommate in a warm embrace. "I understand why you kept your identity as HAYATO a secret, and although I probably shouldn't, I forgive you. Just don't hide from me again."

"I'm sorry, Otoya." Tokiya felt as though he couldn't apologize enough to the redhead.

"It's okay." Otoya hugged Tokiya tighter. "I like Tokiya more than HAYATO anyway."

Hesitantly, Tokiya hugged him back, running a hand through his roommate's fiery hair.

"Well," an amused voice said, "it seems we're interrupting a rather _intimate_ moment."

The two broke apart to see the other four STARISH idols standing in the hall. Ren leaned against the doorway with a smirk on his face, eyes dancing mischievously as he observed the flustered Otoya and silent Tokiya. His roommate, Masato, had politely averted his eyes while Syo and Natsuki were gawking with open mouths.

"I-It's not...I mean...!" Otoya covered his red face and groaned, only serving to further Ren's amusement.

Tokiya cleared his throat. "What are you all doing here?"

Ren sighed and ran a hand through his orange bangs. "Well, we were originally going to interrogate you on your alias as HAYATO, but it seems Ikki beat us to it. We heard everything you told him."

"I see." Tokiya lowered his gaze to the floor. "I'm sorry."

There was a long pause. Tokiya sat perfectly still on the floor while the four in the doorway watched him with unreadable expressions. Otoya looked as though he wanted to defend Tokiya but kept changing his mind at the last minute, eyes flicking nervously from his roommate to his fellow STARISH members.

After a while, Ren sighed again. "Well, that flamboyant outfit didn't suit you anyway." Surprised, Tokiya looked up at the orange-haired playboy.

"You have impressive acting skills." Tokiya's gaze switched to Masato.

"Yeah, I would have never realized that you and HAYATO were the same from the way you acted." Syo placed his hands on his hips with a thoughtful look on his face.

Natsuki stepped forward with a kind smile. "We forgive you for hiding the fact that you're HAYATO from us." He patted Tokiya's shoulder. "We're happy that you've decided to debut as who you really are instead of someone you're pretending to be, but please don't hide from us again. We're your friends; we want to help you."

Tokiya had never felt so relieved before now. "Thank you!" he breathed, "Thank you so much."

"Well, Hijirikawa and I will be off then." Ren lazily gestured with his hand as he departed with his roommate.

"Don't forget we have a rehearsal tomorrow!" Syo called as he and Natsuki headed back to their dorm. Tokiya waved to show that he and Otoya would remember.

"I'm so tired!" Otoya yawned once Tokiya shut the door. He rolled over onto his bed and sighed, throwing an arm over his face.

"How is your fever?" Tokiya pulled off his HAYATO costume and changed into a loose shirt and shorts. He hung the frilly suit towards the back of his wardrobe, noting that he would decide what he would do with it tomorrow morning.

"It's better now. I think I'll be able to attend class tomorrow!" Otoya gave Tokiya a bright smile. "Thanks, Tokiya."

Tokiya hummed in response and turned off the lights, plunging the room into darkness. The two of them lay on their beds, secretly listening to the other's breathing. Otoya fell asleep first, his soft snores filling the room.

Taking advantage of the moment, Tokiya raised a hand, reaching for something beyond his grasp. " _Ah, kimi dake ni todoke, kono kaze no oto yo,"_ he quietly sang, " _Feeling heart..."_

A flicker of movement caught his eye and he met the green gaze of the black cat. The feline flicked its tail once from where it sat on the windowsill and leaped out of sight. " _Mou nakanakute ii yo sono mama de ii..."_ the idol's voice trailed off as he gave in to his drowsiness, leaving the next words of the song hanging in the still air.

 _Sora wo mite...ah, my sweetest love..._


End file.
